Reflections on 2025
It's time to look back on the year and look forward to the next one. I've always enjoyed this type of reflection and I'm sure it'll be interesting to read this in a year's time and see how things have changed. This probably won't be exhaustive since I didn't keep track of things as I went along. I'll just break things down into the obvious categories that spring to mind.
Looking back on 2025
Programming
Lots has changed with programming this year. LLMs moved status from utterly useless to actually being rather good. If you'd told me at the start of the year that a great deal of my programming work would be using LLMs by now, I'm not sure that I would have believed you.
I've transitioned through stages of passion, burnout, apathy and acceptance with programming throughout the year. The beginning was carrying on as I always had done - never to be found without a side-project or idea to get stuck into. The improvements of LLMs definitely drove some of that too with new possibilities opening up.
I was all-in on C# and working on the latest evolution of my go-to "Speed Reader" project series1. The idea was to use RAG to split up long texts into coherent chunks and support LLM generated quizzes for learning purposes. It all worked relatively well, until coding agents got just about good enough and I vibe-coded a bunch and lost the plot. That feeling was identical to times in the past where I've cheated on a game-save and lost all interest.
The burnout and apathy were probably correlated to work. I suppose after nine years of professional work and eight in the same job, it's no surprise that things get draining. We have spent a long time as a team porting an old desktop application to a web app. We're coming to the end of it now but there haven't been many opportunities to be creative with it. That and moving to the web has basically made everything 3x more complicated.
Finally, in the last few months, I've come to accept that losing passion for a hobby I've had for many years is just a part of life. My coworker always told me that this day was coming - the same happened to him. I always resisted the idea because I loved it, it was part of my identity. It feels good to move on to new things in life.
My involvement with programming certainly isn't going anywhere any time soon so I thought I'd just note where I've ended up with it. I'm still keen to keep learning about new technologies etc. I think that the more I step back from doing a lot of programming, the more I can enjoy certain parts of it. It becomes more casual and focused and there's no pressure with any of it.
I've been through a large quantity of languages as my daily driver but at this point it's starting to feel like I've seen most of it all before. My two current favourite languages are Clojure and Go2. Clojure mainly because REPL-driven development is a joy. Go because it's fast and lightweight. I like the contrast of one dynamic and one static language too.
I'm treating Go as a Python replacement (the hope is to port the work Python code to Go in the coming year). From that angle, there's a lot to like. The tooling is great, the testing is fast (compared to the absolutely dismal experience of Pytest) and overall, the language has improved a lot since I tried it around ten years ago.
Birdwatching
Birdwatching is probably my main hobby. This year has been very boom and bust. We started with an unforgettable day-twitch to Northumberland (which is 7.5 hours driving each way) and getting to see a Grey-headed Lapwing was a privilege. There's no other way to swing it though: this took a lot out of me. It was probably another two months before I went out birding after that.
Nevertheless, Spring came back around and one of the unexpected features was that Sophie and I started working on Youtube videos which was challenging, invigorating and a great way to channel some of the loose creativity I had lying around after dropping programming.
Initially we were considering putting the pressure on ourselves to consistently deliver even through periods of time where we lacked motivation to get out and bird. There are a couple of other small UK birding channels which pump content out at a crazy rate. But in the end we decided against it and I'm really happy about that decision. Youtube definitely feels like a hobby which isn't worth forcing because you'll end up hating it very fast. Also, treating videos as seasonal seems fine (and lines up with the birds!)
We also had our first international birding trip this year. We went to Extremadura in Spain - a veritable paradise for birds and birders. It was October which is probably the off-season. It was so quiet everywhere we went and just felt so peaceful and refreshing. I am definitely keen to go back to Spain soon. We also ended up seeing 120 species of bird which is certainly good (and compares favourably to some of the counts stated by tour guides.) I think this trip may have been the spark for us to start travelling a lot more.
As for home, we saw 196 species in the UK with 14 lifers. Definitely down on previous years but ultimately, I think it'd be worse if I cared.
Weight Loss
One of the highlights of my year was definitely losing weight. As it stands now, I've lost roughly one third of my body weight since March this year. It's something I've desperately wanted to achieve for many, many years. There's still a way to go but even if I completely stopped now, it has allowed me to live a completely different life.
I will say though, that I held up being thin on such a pedestal for so much of my life, it's a little disconcerting how matter-of-fact this change has been. I'm cautious not to fall into a crisis of meaning or some similar mental downturn.
In one sense, everything has changed and in another, nothing has. The change is gradual and being a lifestyle change enforces a certain mundanity on it. Nevertheless, I'm extremely happy with how it has gone and how it is going. I'm not done with losing weight yet.
Running
A by-product of the weight loss is that I've managed to start running again. I ran pretty regularly for a short while, around ten years ago. I remember really enjoying it and I've spent a lot of time in the intervening years wishing I could get back to it.
When I ran before, it was exclusively in the gym and on a treadmill. This time round, I've decided I hate the gym and I'm exclusively running outdoors. It's definitely a lot more enjoyable this way. Although there is a lot more elevation!
My crowning achievement with running before was managing a 10k. I often looked back on that with a lot of pride. I've already managed to run another one since starting again. It felt much less of a big deal this time. Perhaps because I'd run one before. Knowing that you can achieve something which previously felt impossible is great for the positive mental attitude.
Spanish
Before visiting Spain, I wanted to make sure that I could be a little handy with the language. I've done some language learning on and off over the years. Nothing major and I hadn't tried Spanish before either. I found out about Dreaming Spanish after a bit of searching and coming to the conclusion that language learning apps are utterly useless.
I managed 250 hours of Spanish learning before heading off to Spain. This stood me in pretty good stead and I didn't really have any problems speaking or listening to people over there. Obviously my spoken Spanish was completely broken but we met some very patient people (shout-out to the waitresses in Cáceres!) and it wasn't awkward at all.
After returning, I carried on with the Spanish - adding in reading via LingQ - and I'm sitting at 500 hours now. The listening has come a long way, even since travelling. There have been ups and downs with the comprehension and motivation but I am still enjoying it. We are considering visiting Chile so I'm hoping to get a lot more in before that. Holidays are great for keeping the discipline.
Long-term Mindset
Weight loss, running and Spanish all share the same requirement: a long-term mindset. I think the fact that I started all three of these things at the same time has helped me somewhat to keep up with each of them. When the motivation dips with one of them, it tends to surge in another. Treating them as a loosely coupled entity works unexpectedly well.
I feel the temptation to add another hobby or practice into the mix because this kind of vibe is one you can get addicted to. Long term efforts in any area feel like the pillar of success. I'm wary that it's a fine balance (though that hasn't yet proven out in experience), so I'm cautious about messing with it. I'm tentatively considering adding writing to this mix as it's another thing that I've wanted to regularly do for a long time. Truthfully, I probably don't enjoy it as much as the other three but we shall see how it goes.
Christianity
I started off the year with Christianity definitely at the front of my mind. I was actively researching, reading and studying every day. I was attending a bible study group at church which got cancelled at some point. I think that probably coincided with my declining interest with active study.
I feel comfortable with where it is sitting in my life right now. Reducing the active engagement I've had with it has made way for other hobbies and routines that have made a more direct and observable impact in my life. Christianity is definitely a slow-burn interest and I feel like spiritual and philosophical considerations need time to stew.
There are things that I'd like to do more though. I'd definitely like to pray more or do a daily devotional or something. I think making something Christianity-related into a daily habit would do a lot for my spiritual life.
Other
A few notes on a couple of more minor things.
Guitar
I've been playing guitar pretty regularly. I wouldn't say I've achieved fluency in any worthwhile pieces but I did make very good progress on En Las Cuevas by Paco Peña. I learnt three or four other grade 8 songs too, all of which I can play from memory. That feels like a pretty good achievement.
I did try to do some recording but, as ever, it remains out of reach. I just choke every time. I have so much respect for professional musicians in this regard. I'm pretty sure they get lessons on how to perform - I wonder what they get taught?
Reading
I definitely didn't read as much as I wanted to. I did get through The Count of Monte Cristo which was an incredible page-turner for the first 4-500 or so pages. Then it switched to utter drudgery, before returning to being pretty good at the end. I book of that scale did wear me out a bit.
Recently, I've just been reading in Spanish. I'm slowly working my way through "Los Pequeños Hombres Libres" (the Spanish translation of the youth-Discworld "Wee-free Men".) A nice perk of that is I'm familiar with the story so even if parts are hard to understand, I sort of know what is happening from context and memory. It's probably a bit above my level but I refuse to read graded readers because I could be reading something enjoyable instead.
This year is the National Year of Reading in the UK. It'd be nice to put some effort in for that reason alone.
Theatre & Events
I attended one concert and two theatre performances. The theatre shows were Joseph, which was amazing - a classic for a reason - and Six, which was alright but the studio recording was better. It's not massively my kind of thing anyway. The concert was seeing the unparalleled maestro Grisha Goryachev blast some mind-bending flamenco. By a complete fluke, Sophie came across the show online and I think I'd ordered tickets within the first few minutes of finding out.
Seeing Grisha live was the chance of a lifetime and definitely one of the best experiences of my life. If you ever have the opportunity to see him perform, take it immediately.
Looking onward to 2026
Here are a couple of goals I have for the coming year. I don't intend to put any pressure on any of them. The general theme is just to keep carrying on as I am now because for the first time in a very long time, I'm actually proud of myself.
Programming
For the first time in a while, I don't have any programming project related goals. I think if I keep up with Clojure and Go, trying to get a bit more expertise in both, that will be beneficial. I'll probably try to dip in and out of it. I think there will be chances for small projects which line up with things I fancy writing.
The main hope I have, albeit tangentially related, is to not get laid off. I'm putting this in here purely for the retrospective value it'll have in a year. I think I can have some influence in this area but the company hasn't been too hot lately (and I'll leave it at that!)
Running
My main aim with running is to keep up with the 3x per week plod. Perhaps add another day at some point - when I feel comfortable that it won't increase odds of injury. I need to be more disciplined with running more slowly too. After all, zone two is what burns the fat.
Definitely no pressure on this, but perhaps a half marathon would be a nice long term goal for the year.
Spanish
I'm in a bit of a lull with Spanish at this very moment. I've eased off for the holidays - it's definitely a hobby which benefits from moderation and breaks. That said, I'm hoping to get back into it from next week (5th January) and continue with my four-hour per day goal. I'd love to reach 1500 hours3 by the end of the year but honestly I'm not sure I'll make that.
Once I reach roughly 800 hours, I'm going to look for a tutor and really start to work hard on my speaking in preparation for future travel. I'm excited about the prospect of where learning a new language can and may lead me.
Writing
Writing is the new one for the year. I've wanted to have a writing habit for ages now and since I'm on a hot-streak with hobbies at the moment, I think I'll try to work it in there. I do enjoy writing and I think it's important and very beneficial in terms of thinking and self-reflection. My ideal goal would be to write at least one article per month. I'm not interested in putting restrictions on that either - it could be writing about anything and of any length. I'm hoping the paid subscription to bear blog keeps me accountable. Let's see how it goes!